Excerpts From “A Fan's Guide To The Ultimate Ballpark Tour: Fully Loaded!" Note in certain excerpts below, information has been left blank. You didn't think we'd reveal all the secrets, did you?

Realism 101, Joe style: "Unless you are filthy rich, retired, in-between jobs or careers, leave your family behind and/or significant other, or are basically a freeloader, realize you are NOT going to see all 30 ballparks in one season. It's unrealistic, so don't even think about it."

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Getting There And Around: One ballpark - "Depending on where you live and most importantly - where you're going - different airlines will be right for you while other won't. I've always found flying into…quite expensive. (Airport) is further away, but often has better rates. Also don't rule out airports in…"

Another ballpark in another part of the country: "You'll likely fly into… an airport that is - and I warn you - located in utter Sticksville. It can be a good 40 minute haul to the city by car. I've used public transit in…, and it's decent, but I'd use a car if your budget supports it. If you're just hanging in the city, public transportation should be fine."

Start of the Midwest section: "Of the four sections in this guide (Northeast, Southeast, Midwest and West), none is more compact, enabling to fans to see much baseball back-to-back-to-back, as the Midwest. If you are planning to try and do a Northeast and Midwest tour and need to fly in, you should check into rates in…(City) is centrally located and within a reasonable driving distance…It could be a good stop point and end point."

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Lodging Options: "A…is across from the ballpark and there's other hotels close by in the city. If your wallet's light, your best bet might be…"

Another ballpark: "Very few options downtown. If you're heading out of town the next morning, hit the Interstates, especially if you're on a budget. If not…is an option nearby. An incredibly cheap hotel is right across from the ballpark with utter bare bones accommodations for the backpacker types in you. Check out the following for an overview of the options at your disposal."

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When To Go: "If you can, opt for spring or September when - especially if…are out of it - you'll have more of an opportunity at tickets as residents gear up on football…But if you can stand 100-degree temperatures - and heat advisories - summer is your gig."

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Pre-Game Rituals: "There are restaurants and eats in the vicinity of the ballpark - from sports bars to more sit down joints. If you're feeling funky, the…museum is nearby. Live music is occasionally shaking, too."

Another ballpark: "Most everyone arrives to the ballpark in their car and parks in adjacent lots. No neighborhood or community-feel ambience. Nothing."

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Parking: "If you're driving and arrive early, free (and safe) street parking is available near…Otherwise, you will become much looser in your wallet (by the thieves who charge for lot parking)."

Another ballpark: "Parking near the ballpark can be quite the challenge, especially with construction going on near the ballpark. Try and park downtown somewhere and just walk to the game. Much, much easier."

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Tickets: "Some weekday and weeknight game tickets are half off the regular price. Also, if you're planning a second half trip…Lastly, weekends can sell out, so prepare accordingly."

Another ballpark: "Don't waste your time paying for surcharges on tickets over the Internet or phone. You can easily purchase day of game unless..."

Another ballpark: "If you want good seats, or any seats at all, buy them before you go!"

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Seating: "Most of the seats are dynamite (one exception:…You feel a little outcast). The best value is...because it gives you a clearer picture of the ballpark, the field and the…Also, these seats don't have that 'nosebleed' feel."

Another ballpark: "If you purchase a bleacher seat in right field, you'll be bumming because it doesn't…Therefore, make sure if you want to go, you buy a reserved seat and don't lose out..."

Another ballpark: "Do yourself a favor…buy the cheapest seat in the house, spend the extra doe on more beer and then catch an usher napping and move down from the upper view above third base say, to field level. Also, try and plan your schedule for a…"

Another ballpark: "The seats. There is no legroom - and I had good seats at field level!"